Don’t Be The One Left Holding The Bags: Identity Shifts after Motherhood
A Message to Amazing Women: Become Confident to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
If you are procrastinating over making a change, read this. And, remember, procrastinating is a choice. Being stuck is a choice. And the choice is yours to make.
I want to share a powerful message that I hope will inspire you to step out of your comfort zones and embrace uncertainty. In a world filled with challenges and opportunities, it's easy to find comfort in the familiar, but sometimes, taking that leap into the unknown can lead to incredible growth (and the key is that in the small things is the path to change - the small steps, the next steps, doing the next tiny thing - these are actually big moments). I want to share two stories with you, stories of women who dared to venture into uncharted territory and emerged stronger and more exhilarated than ever.
The Water Assault Course: A Mother's Triumph
The other day I encountered a mother faced with a daunting challenge. Her eldest son was supposed to take part in a water assault course with her youngest son, but he fell ill, and someone had to step in. With hesitation in her eyes, she decided to take her son's place.
At first, she was clearly uncomfortable, unsure of her abilities. Can you picture yourself in the scene? Firstly, there was the wetsuit, then there was the physical challenge… but neither of those things are the heart of the matter. It is that this scene was so far from her comfort zone. But when we are confronted with choosing the pain or the pleasure, we must decide. What would she rather do? Say no and risk disappointing her son?
What would you do? Of course, I know what you’re likely to say. As I would. We do it for the kids. And so she did.
And something incredible happened when she made the decision to embrace uncertainty. She not only conquered the course but also decided to capture the moment by allowing me to take pictures of her in action. Her response was,
"Yes please, nobody will believe I've done this!"
And she aced it. And I am not sure that she wanted to show other people those pictures, ultimately they were for her. To know she could do it.
Her bravest act was not completing the course but rather talking to herself, telling herself that she could do it. While she could share her achievement with friends and family, the person most impressed by her triumph was herself, and rightfully so.
The Grandmother down the Waterslide: She was Kickass
In another inspiring incident, I witnessed a grandmother faced with a challenge. She stood at the base of a towering waterslide, her grandson eagerly awaiting his turn. As they climbed the stairs together, tension gripped her. But she was determined not to let her grandson down. She looked terrified. I was so impressed, and told her so. We all need our support crews, after all, both inside ourselves and an inner circle.
With resolve in her heart, she hurled herself down that waterslide, conquering her fears. She looked amazing!
Both generations, different in age and stages of life, were left absolutely exhilarated by embracing uncertainty and venturing out of their comfort zones.
The Power of Self-Motivation - And Negative Self-Talk
What do these two stories have in common? They exemplify the incredible power of self-motivation when we attach our reasons for doing things to those we love. When we step up for our loved ones, it triggers natural responses in our brains that make the seemingly impossible, possible.
As women, we often find ourselves prioritizing others, holding bags, coats, or offering support from the sidelines while others take centre stage. But I urge you to consider this: if you dare to put yourself first, to stop being the one who merely observes, you can experience the true joy of living.
Embrace the Change and Lead the Way
Many of us have been in a position where we were the ones holding the bags, standing by at events, or watching from the sidelines. But it's never too late to change that narrative. You know what, I was that woman. And I know, so too, were some of you. In fact, I was reading a post by bestselling author Donna Ashworth, about this very topic just last week. In her piece she shared how she’d normally be holding the coats while her kids hurled themselves from heights etc. Guess what, she is no more! Now she jumps, too!
What is The Key Takeaway?
There’s a powerful message here. Your power is within you. Embrace uncertainty, get out of your comfort zone, and allow yourself to thrive. Whether it's conquering a water assault course, sliding down a towering waterslide, or pursuing your own passions, remember that you have the strength to amaze yourself.
As you go about your day, consider this a call to action. Celebrate your own "runniversary" by taking a step towards your dreams. Lace up your running shoes, or metaphorically, embrace your own favourite trail. The world is full of opportunities, and they're waiting for you to seize them.
If you dare to put yourself first.
If you dare to stop being the one who just holds the bags (or coats/wet wipes/fill as appropriate!), while others take part, then the fear is taking away from you living, and actually living. Your mindset matters.
I was holding all the bags. I was standing by at all the running events, the games. Not now. I lead from the front with my kids, or I support them as they do.
I must now away, ladies, as I am off to celebrate my runniversary, by running a favourite trail.
Your power is there. Go get your runners on!
